I’ve never been one to be 100% about my decisions. I’m incredibly indecisive. It’s a fact. I almost never know what I want and only know what I don’t want. The thing is, when you write something on the internet you kind of have to commit because otherwise it’s just confusing. As I sit here watching the episode of Sex In The City where Carrie moves to Paris and feels incredibly lost, I can relate. It’s not necessarily the fact that I don’t want to be here in London, that’s not it at all – it’s the thought of settling down. Or maybe that I’m not sure where home is in the world anymore. Maybe the thought that I have to commit to an amount of time in a foreign place. Travelling life is easy (kind of) because you have no commitments, no serious thought about what factors to consider when choosing a home or starting the next part of your life. Each step in your life is meant to propel you forward, but what if it doesn’t? How would you ever know at the time? These decisions are yours to make and face alone. One question I’ve wondered since being abroad is how does anyone ever pack up their life to move across the world for good? The different culture, the different language, the culture shock. How do you leave behind all your loose ends? Not London because lets face it, it’s like the New Zealand/Australian equivalent in European form. How do you ever know where you belong in the world?
Despite all my late night confusion, I continue to sit here watching Sex In The City while job hunting. I’ve never been one to 100% commit to anything, I always just do it anyway. Maybe the loose ends are just like when a relationship ends – you remember all the good times instead of the bad. You have to make the decision and know that you make it for a good reason, even if you can’t quite remember why at the time.
So yeah, if you made it through my ramble or just skipped forward, I’ve moved to London. For now anyway and who knows for the future. If any of you guys are from here I’d love any suggestions for places, people and things!
Ph: Tumblr, Yan Yan Chan & Lola Jagger