19 Things I Learnt In 2019

It’s all too often that we make new years resolutions, follow them for five days and then forget they ever existed. Guilty as charged. This year though I thought it would be better to reflect on the year that’s been and what I learnt – then write about it so I can’t forget.

2019 for me was uninteresting but busy. There was no thrill of prolonged travel, and I didn’t experience a great love story. The most exciting part was meeting and making new friends while keeping myself busy. So this year, in short, was a whole lot of hustle supported by a whole lot of red wine.

1. If someone shows you who they are, believe them. 

Ahh 2019: a year when I gave people more second chances than I needed to. At the end of 2019, I had to take a big step back from a friendship because it started to feel unhealthy. The push-pull kept me on edge, waiting to make my next wrong move. Cutting that, and people that waste my time has to be the biggest relief of the year. Recognising bad patterns is hard when you’re fond of someone, but cutting out toxic relationships is a part of life. Rip the bandaid, pain for gain.

2. Dishwashing liquid is the best stain remover.

3. Saying yes opens doors, saying no closes them. Use it strategically. 

This year I’ve learnt the importance of saying no before you start to feel overwhelmed. We live in a culture that celebrates burn-out like a badge of honour and shoves mental health under the rug. All it takes is one “no” to give yourself space to breathe, reset and come out on top.

4. You won’t remember how much it cost but you’ll sure as hell remember hustling to buy tickets and running to catch Post Malone. All within 30 mins.

Basically what I’m saying is pay for experiences – you’ll end up wealthier.

5. Pals and the Part-Time Rangers RTDs are essential to not dying with a hangover after a night out. You’re welcome.

6. The difference between being alone and being lonely. 

Sometimes it felt like no matter the friends, family and relationships I kept, I couldn’t relieve the loneliness I felt. I binged this podcast while lying on the beach, alone in Portugal and something she said just clicked. It puts it plain and simple – we feel lonely when we don’t enjoy our own company. It’s a problem created by your thoughts and can be relieved in the same way. That was the last day I can remember I felt like that. 

7. The best lessons to learn are from your friend’s mistakes.

8. People will assume that what you tell them is all there is to know.

I’m an open book, so people tend to assume I’m telling the whole story. It’s been interesting to surprise people with old information like I’ve been living a double life. I’ve had people try to set me up with their friends this year, even though I was seeing someone. I’ve also had friends promise I’d work an event without knowing I had an important deadline that day. When did we all stop asking questions first?

9. Drunk Elephant T.L.C. Framboos™ Glycolic Resurfacing Night Serum and Virgin Marula Antioxidant Face Oil is the best combination for your skin – ever.

10. If you use dry shampoo in your hair at night it saves your hair for another day.

11. New York is always a good idea.

12. Slide into the DM’s for friends too.

This year I made so many new friends in Auckland, and close ones too. Sophie slide into my DM’s a couple of years ago and this year we finally met – and have been joint at the hip ever since. I reunited with my friend Hanna who I met years ago when she emailed me to get coffee on a visit from Finland after reading my blog. Basically, I’m saying that DMs are no longer just for sleezy hookups.

13. Sometimes you can work hard and get f*cking no where.

You just have to learn to move on and revaluate, with all the wines of course.

14. Isle Of Paradise Self Tanning Drops is the best for tanning your face. I’ve convinced at leat 5 friends to buy them already.

15. If someone wants to be in your life, they’ll make it happen.

This includes but is not exclusive to; replying to texts, following through on plans and making a damn effort. Seriously, it’s not that hard – stop making excuses for them.

16. I’ve probably already experienced my favourite love story.

As a person at *ahem* 26 who hasn’t ever been in a serious relationship, I’m one of the lucky ones. We have been friends for over 20 years, and we’re still going strong. In some ways, I think the support I get from her is the reason I am a very independent person and am okay with being single. I mean, not forever, but for now.

17. Even your hangover outfit looks good in black.

18. I think everyone has a little bit of a drinking problem over the age of 25.

19. Don’t stress, the best is yet to come.

I often get stressed about making my next move and get anxious when I know people are leaving me behind in Auckland. I’ve spent many hours looking at flights overseas and trying to work out how to travel full time while saving for a house. At the end of the day though everyone is winging it and you know what? Most of the things you stress about never happen anyway. Enjoy life whichever way you want, you only have one.