It’s been a while but hey, I’m back. With Christmas right around the corner (hence the outfit) I’ve been riding the wave of a social life that left me with pretty much no motivation beyond hitting deadlines. Food cravings over creative cravings would sum up my December pretty accurately. Now though, my holiday is right around the corner so I’m forcing myself to get back into a normal routine before I fall off the bandwagon for good. Healthy food, healthy work-life balance and with that, a healthy dose of saying no to opportunities that I just don’t need on my to-do list right now.
As the year (and decade – what!?) draws to a close it feels as though everyone is going through and summarising the year that’s been. I’ve already seen an endless stream of the usual IG posts about “tag a person that made your year”, and it got me thinking about what makes a year good or bad. After all, doesn’t everyone end up with a “next year will be better” post anyway?
Bec + Bridge Margareta Midi Dress Via Designer Wardrobe
Georgia Jay Bag (Similar Here)
This year marked the first in the past eight that I hadn’t moved to a new city, and it taught me something long overdue. Not only did I experience a lot of anxiety while my mind lapped around the idea that “I’m not living enough if I’m standing still”, but for once I felt like I could relax into the idea of comfort. Like a good worn-in sofa, it’s easy to come home to at the end of each night and feel at peace. Priceless.
I read an article earlier this week that discussed the idea the psychological theory called the hedonic treadmill. It refers to the fact that you’ll eventually find your way back to a relatively stable level of happiness despite major positive or negative events or life changes. So this year because despite not moving (again) life really did just carry on the same as it always had. Who would have thought? [Insert eye roll here]
When I moved back people would often ask me if I missed it, missed the thrill of living somewhere else. I think it’s taken me until now to realise that I’d still ride the same waves but surrounded by different people. Still confused about what I want to do with my life, still wondering if the moving was hindering my chance of getting ahead. So if there’s one thing you take away from this (and you’re considering long-term travel) trust me when I say that it’s just life, lived somewhere else. The highs, the lows and the wasting too much money daily. And in this way, staying still has made the most sense for me right at this very moment. After nearly two years here I’ve finally come to terms with that.
In other ways, this year has given me a sense of adult stability which I needed to get a ‘high’ from, more than my instability. I’m pretty impulsive at times and will say yes to 99.99% of things I get asked to do. So when an opportunity comes calling, you know I’m the who’s picking up. This includes but is not limited to heavy weekends out, random concert missions and last minute flight dashes. This year I let myself spend more on experiences here in Auckland without feeling guilty. My bank account and liver isn’t as happy as it once was, but the ridiculous memories are well worth their price.
So where do I fall on the scale of a good or bad year? It’s been a bit so-so, but mostly it is what it is. A lot of it I felt like I was in limbo and I don’t think that will ever change. Who knows what the hell they’re doing or where they’re meant to be? We just carry on feeling it out as we go. I didn’t find love, I didn’t achieve any milestone but I’ve tried a lot of new things this year and figured out what doesn’t fulfil me more than ever – which is a gem in itself. Ultimately I think everything comes back to your perspective and how you are feeling on the day. So if on New Year’s eve you don’t look back on 2019 with a feeling of nostalgia, pour yourself a wine and relax, you can always try again next year.